CALLED TO SERVE: June 2017

Well, this is my last week in the mission field. This is probably the last email you will be getting from me, because lets be honest--texting or calling is a lot easier. As I finish my mission, I have tried to avoid saying the word 'last' as much as I can. Why? Because I've sort of decided that the end of my mission is not really an end at all. Rather, it is just another transition. It may be the last week in the Taiwan Taipei Mission, it may be the last letter home I write on my mission, and it may be the last time I sit in a disgusting internet cafe while cockroaches run across the keyboard and League of Legends addicts spend hour after hour button smashing, but you could also say that "Wow! This is the last time I will ever eat lunch at 11:45 in the morning on June 17, 2017!!" You wouldn't be wrong, but I think you would be missing the point. Life isn't a bunch of beginnings and endings, but rather a string of changes--a pattern of becoming. In July 2012, Dieter F. Uchtdorf wrote a great article about being "Always In the Middle." In his words, "Beginnings are times for making resolutions, for creating plans, for bursts of energy. Endings are times for winding down and may involve feelings of completion or loss. But with the proper outlook, considering ourselves as in the middle of things can help us not only to understand life a little better but also to live it a little more meaningfully." Another chapter rolls by in the life of Elder Hawkes, but this isn't to be sad about. This is exciting! How can you read the whole book if you keep reading the same page?

I would like to write a little more about change. Over the past two years, I have become quite a different person. If you asked me how though, I might have to think for a moment or two. This bothered me for about a week--if I can't say how I've changed or identify a specific thing that has changed me, does that mean I haven't changed? As I pondered on this question, I came to a conclusion. I would suggest that the important changes that occur in the heart aren't as noticeable as something like the weather. I don't think our hearts change that fast. Conversion, as described in True to the Faith, is a "quiet miracle". I love that--a quiet miracle. The change that happens in our hearts is so quiet that often we don't see or notice the whole process. I think we are blessed when Heavenly Father gives us glimpses of who we are becoming, and how we are slowly developing into the people He wants us to become. Repentance is a daily course correction--am I just a little bit better than yesterday? So I'm not worried when I don't immediately become the person I want to, or when I don't take giant leaps every day towards being perfect. I enjoy the process. I enjoy the little steps towards Christ, and the occasional witness from Heavenly Father that I am on the right path, and that He will walk with me the whole way.

As we make these changes--as we experience conversion--we feel God's love more abundantly in our everyday lives. "And it came to pass in the thirty and sixth year, the people were all converted unto the Lord, upon all the face of the land, both Nephites and Lamanites ... and surely there could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God" (4 Nephi 1:2,16). Like the people in the Book of Mormon, when Christ visits us and we accept Him with a willing heart and an open mind, He will help change us into the people we need to become. We will become like Christ. Then, we will be truly happy. I am happy.

Elder Puzey loves his cactus

I love my super Asian-looking rock

We both loved the sunset 2 nights ago.


Unfortunate acronym.

My desk!

Motor scooter driving school!

Last week for Preparation Day we biked to XiMen and then had 烤肉. All you can eat BBQ?
Sooooo much meat and Hagendaaz.

The other night, we went to the chapel and saw the picture attached. Yes... that's blood. We were a little freaked out, and more than excited to put on our Sherlock hats and solve a mystery. We found a cigarette, NT$20 (not even US$1, not too exciting), and some napkins. Didn't help. As we surveyed the area though, we found two trails of blood running from the crime scene to two parts of the tall fence around our chapel. On the fence was a lot more blood. Our theory is this: a guy was bleeding really bad but not realizing it, hopped the fence to hang out at our chapel (no lights or security cameras) and smoke a cigarette, sat down where the crime scene was and shot the breeze for a few minutes until he realized he was bleeding really bad, went around the back way to avoid a streetlight, hopped back over the same fence, and disappeared into the night. Well, no way to confirm it, but I think Elder Puzey and I did OK at seeing a ton of blood and coming to conclusions as to what happened.

Miracle story! Elder Puzey and I were finding one day, and we were in a part of our area that we had never been before. It was in the middle of nowhere, but there were a ton of houses so we figured we would go knocking. It had rained most of the day, and we hadn't seen much success. I saw this random alleyway, and we turned down it. After going through these random alleys for a few minutes, we saw a place that looked cool and decided to knock. We rang the first doorbell (apartment buildings in Taiwan almost all have the doorbell speaker thing at the bottom) and they opened the door to let us in (it is hard to hear from the speaker thing so a lot of people just open it and talk to you when you come up). We went up, and she was super uninterested. She told us to go bother the people that lived above her. She probably didn't expect us to take her very seriously, but we went and did exactly that. The apartment directly above her didn't answer, and so did the other 4 or 5 doors on that floor. The last one on the floor answered, and Mr Yang 楊先生 answered the door. In a minute, he had given us his phone number and set up a time to come visit. Wow!

We visited him last week, and he has a crazy story. At 16 years old, his friend convinced him to drop out of school, steal all the money and valuables in his parent's home, and hop on a boat from the island of JingMen near mainland China to PingDeng in Taiwan. There, he opened a rather sketchy business--posting how to beat certain video games online and providing online video pornography. After that stopped making money and he had incurred half a million US dollars worth of debt from an underground loan company, he decided to open a gambling business. Out of the blue, his debt disappeared. Several years later, he discovered that his dad had paid the whole thing. Mr Yang got married last month to his girlfriend of 12 years, and the only thing he asked us to pray for was his cat that died a week or so ago. He is such a humble man, and very willing to listen to our message.

On that note, this week I studied the Christlike attribute of Charity and Love. I never would have thought about it, but love was so hard to put a definition to. Websters Dictionary didn't help. It is very interesting how skewed the world's definition of love is. After lots of thought and scripture studying, I decided that there were two most basic kinds of love: reciprocated unity of determination in a single wish or desire, and an unreciprocated but determined desire to have a single wish or desire. A married couple doesn't have to be perfect clones of each other to have love, but rather have perfect singleness of purpose. We don't have to have someone love us in order to love someone else, instead we can hope with our whole heart to be unified with them and serve them in any way that we are unified. I just thought it was interesting how closely love is related with distance--and not geographically. So, the gospel is the best way to feel of God's love. Why? Because it is the way we draw closer to our Heavenly Father. In the words of Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Since 'God is love', the closer we approach Him, the more we profoundly experience love." I know that as I have drawn closer unto my Heavenly Father throughout my mission, I have felt His everlasting love. Speaking of love, I love all you guys and hope you have a great week!

These should be self-explanatory and really funny

Also, here is a general itinerary I was thinking for Taiwan. Saturday: Gugong in the morning, late lunch in beitou with maybe a quick hike, danshui warf for dinner and sunset, shilin nightmarket. Sunday: morning church (don't know where, Chinese or English), changkai shek memorial hall, Taipei 101, another quick hike that overlooks taipei. Monday: pingxi and shifen, elephant rock (ba dou zi), jiufen at night. Could probably do the monday stuff while still staying in a taipei hotel, although it is a pretty long drive (about an hour).

National Taiwan University. Best University in Taiwan, and has an incredible campus. Walked around it a little bit and took some pictures. Lots of pictures this week.

Buddhist "Hidden Treasure Temple"

'Artist Hill'. The artist village was a little to artsy for me, and was full of Asians dressed up like fruitcakes and leaning on mock city-scapes and taking pictures of their significant other. Even the art itself was much too modern, and I failed to be impressed by collages of an anime girl drawn next to pictures of rubber ducks, crowns, and 'will you merry me' posters.