Elder Shepherd's Last Straw

8/31/15

Dear Family,

Bad news, no Yosemite today. We weren't able to set everything up, but that's alright. I'll get there before I leave. Unfortunately, not too many funny things in my big letter today, but I'll get some in next week. Along with pictures. I keep forgetting my cord... They tell us to tell you to keep sending mail to the mission office, because missionaries move apartments a lot and such, so just keep sending it there. It doesn't slow it down too much. I'll try to get some hand-written letters in here pretty soon to. I will probably get to call in three weeks at the airport so I can update you all on a lot there if they will let me. Thanks for all the awesome support! I'll talk to you next week!

-Elder Hawkes

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Brothers and Sisters,

Hard to believe it has been an entire three weeks since I've been in the mission field! In the MTC, Brother Stephen B Allen gave a devotional in which he described the four phases to adjusting to a big change: the Honeymoon Phase, where you are just happy-go-lucky and have all the energy and motivation in the world because you are excited for the new experience; the Hostile Phase, where you just get down on yourself and get irritable because you feel you aren't adjusting to the change very well; the Grin-and-Bear-It Phase, where you smile because you know you have to even though you don't fell it, and you just keep moving forward even though you don't like it; and finally the Successful Adjustment Phase, where you gain the peace and comfort from a set routine and become effective and efficient. Yep, I'll be honest, I think I would consider myself around the Hostile Phase. I'm not exactly a roller-coaster kind of Elder though so my 'hostility' is very mild. 

We all share that roller-coaster kind of adjustment in our lives, my hope is that we can all understand a greater perspective. In my Gospel Essentials class yesterday, we discussed the Atonement. One of the most comforting things about the Atonement is that Christ suffered our sins and can see the end result. We each go through the refiners fire--big changes and trials--in order to become better individuals. The challenge is gaining that perspective that Christ and Heavenly Father have in seeing that end purpose: that person He wants us to become. As Elder Joseph B Wirthlin says, "We see ourselves in terms of yesterday and today. Our Heavenly Father sees us in terms of forever."

Two days ago, Elder Shepherd and I drove to an appointment that cancelled out on us because they 'forgot'. Classic right? Anyways, we were driving away when Elder Shepherd says, "I can't do it anymore!" and flips the car around and starts driving back. He parks the car a good ways away from the house we just left and I'm thinking to myself "what on earth is he doing?" We got out and I practically have to chase him as he Olympic-speed-walks towards a young man, his sister, and his dog in the back of a pickup truck listening to some music. Elder Shepherd loves dogs so he went straight to the dog, but we started asking him about his interests and he said he had anger issues so he got into MMA. Uh oh. So I ask him if he as any other interests, and he says, "right now actually I am really into religion. It has helped me cope with my anger." It turns out that he goes to the House, a non-denominational Christian church that even they occasionally unknowingly refer to as the 'great and spacious building', and is training to become a pastor. But he said he would love to meet with us!! So we are stopping by sometime this week to tell him a little about our church! Galatians 5:25, sent to me by my mom, says: "If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit." Let us all strive to have the influence of the Spirit in our lives and to find the purpose in each of our refiner's fires.

--Elder Jordan Hawkes

Iain Mckay Letter 2

8/24/15

Dear Elder Hawkes,

You are certainly having a variety of life's "experiences" in Modesto. I heard a Mission President say once that "Baptism is never a mistake" We are all Heavenly Father's children and he loves us equally- but not the sins we become involved in. In my lifetime in the Church I have seen people repent, be baptised and turn their lives around. I have also seen a lot who become worthy enough to be baptised and then revert back to their old ways and stop coming to Church. This then becomes a "burden" on the local ward and branch who have to try and reactivate . In NZ we used to call them revolving door baptisms- in the front door and out the back door. Of course, as Pres Hinckley used to say every new convert requires a friend and a calling. I think he might have also added "Home Teachers."  These are the things that provide stability and friendshipping for the new convert. Sadly, many times our wards and branches become overwhelmed. The missionaries leave and the new member dies on the vine for lack of attention, love and additional teaching.

Ideally we need families to join the Church- especially those with a strong husband and father at the head who can receive and magnify his Priesthood. Without adequate  Priesthood and families the Church cannot grow. I have been in Wards in Hong Kong where the Priesthood is almost non existent. Hundreds of Fillipino sisters who are faithful and incredible missionaries to other sisters but there is a dearth of Priesthood. As I have entered the chapel I have been asked to either bless or pass the sacrament- even before they check to see if I was a member of the Church!!!!

Love and blessings

Iain

Christ's Love and Unique

8/24/15

Dear Family,

Ya, Elder Shepard is a weirdo. He even admits it. That is how he wants to be remembered! Every time the Mahna Mahna song comes on in the car (don't ask me why that song is permissible) he taps the beat with the brakes. WITH THE BRAKES. It is so annoying! I will never be the same when that horrible song comes on. So guess what I figured out? Yosemite National Park is in my mission. Next week for Preparation Day I'm going!!! How cool is that??? I hope school is going well for everyone!! I'll admit, it is really weird seeing all the school kids. Interesting fact of the day: schools in Modesto don't have hallways, all the classrooms open to the outside! All the walkways are just covered. Isn't that weird? And then they just put a fence around the whole school. Crazy. Our third investigator, who I didn't mention in the big email, is named Janice. She is actually a great grandma, and the majority of her family is LDS but her and her son aren't and they smoke a ton. Anyways, Janice also speaks 7.3 million miles an hour. Her son smoked us some fresh bacon! I cooked it today and, despite getting burned all over from the excessive amounts of popping grease, ate a fantastic breakfast. Dad-apparently Modesto had a 2.9 earthquake two days ago, but I couldn't feel it at all. Mom-I sent you a card in the mail, can we pretend it came like 3 weeks ago? Sarah-I can't believe you are a Junior!!! Hey, at least not a Squashmore... Mary-still can't find the quarter collection? I found a quarter I don't have, I can send it if you find it. Christian... Just kidding buddy! How is the big third grade?? (again, just kidding) Hope soccer is going good! I'll send a few pictures of my companion Elder Shepard, my apartment, and a California sky next week. Love you all!!

-Elder Hawkes

Brothers and Sisters,

Well I'm certainly not in Centerville, Utah! Modesto is a great place though and I love the people. Good news! We have an investigator named Sister Singh who called us two days ago and asked to be baptized!!! I mean, she had already expressed the interest and has been taking lessons from missionaries for over two years, but she actually called us! Just like in all those crazy stories you hear! Unfortunately, she just got out of jail and has to take a bunch of classes before she can pass the baptismal interview questions, but she is totally willing! She is Hindu and has an absolutely crazy ex-husband. His new wife is even crazier and even beats Sister Singh up every once in a while. But Sister Singh can't fight back because she will go back to jail. Kind of a weird situation. Anyways, Sister Singh talks 7.3 million miles and hour and is in every way a crazy Hindu. She cooked us her Hindu curry recipe that still had bones in it. She said she wouldn't make it spicy, but by the end of the meal my mouth was on fire and I swear I broke every tooth in my mouth. Sister Singh is incredible though. She has a willingness to follow God that she developed in jail, and has patience like I've never seen before. It may not be before I leave Modesto that she gets baptized, but I am so happy that she has decided to take this essential step in her life.

Cultural Experiences:

-Spanish Elders are crazy. Elder Moreno and Elder Lopez make us pick them up and drive them to zone soccer every morning at 5:30

-We have a car

-Elder Shepard is a crazy driver

-Tiwi yells at us if we drive too fast, and Catherine yells at us if we take a wrong turn

-Elder Beck, my district leader, speaks like an inner-city black mobster except he is tall, skinny, and pale white

-I have never seen so many shirtless men walking around town

-I have never seen so many tattoos

Unique is another one of our three investigators. She is about 18 years old and has a 3 year old daughter. As expected, the father left her. She lives with her grandma and takes care of her child as well as two or three of her sisters who are under the age of 10. Her daughter, Unity, has more energy than Jeremy Harms at 3 in the morning after drinking caffeine. And to top it off, she lives in a sketchy part of town and has to work all day to support herself. When we stop by, she comes out exhausted and sits in the chair on the porch, watching her little daughter run around the front yard. She is very quiet and hardly talks. Even when we talk, she can't listen for very long because her daughter will do something to distract her. We keep trying to get her to attend church, or even read a verse out of her scriptures. She is interested in the church, but her life is just too crazy. I feel so horrible for her. There are times I wish I could just trade her. Take her place. Give her rest. But I can't. Only one person can. Christ is the only person that can ever truly understand how we feel. Like I wish I could relieve Unique of her overwhelming challenges, there are times I wish I could help Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane. Take away just a portion of that pain so he doesn't have to bear it. But there is no way to do so, he has already done it. And the best part of it? He was willing. Because he loved us, he suffered for all our pain, all our sins, and all our weaknesses. That is why I am here. The majority of the world doesn't understand His love for them, or at least to it's full capacity. Like homeless Bob from last week, if I can just help people get a little bit closer to Christ, my mission is a success. May we all study the life of Christ and come just a little bit closer, step by step.

Welcome to Modesto

There are two weird churches here in Modesto: the House and Shelter Cove. The House is this huge compound with a gym, daycare, sports fields, and all sorts of memberships you can buy. The other day at Sonic, six of us missionaries were sitting around a table when a white guy with his shirt off and lots of tattoos (VERY common here in Modesto) came up and asked for a few dollars. Before we could say anything he said, "I'm getting out of here, that crazy lady is coming." Sure enough, here she comes! "I'm black and I'm Mormon! OOPS! They told me I couldn't! OOPS!" she says as she bounces in a circle around the table, eyes blazing, "They all got the disease because they didn't wipe their ears! OOPS! They got it through the telephones! OOPS!" Then a lady from Sonic came out and chased her off. All I could think of was "Welcome to Modesto!" A large majority of the population is hispanic or black, and the rest is white-trash. Turns out, Modesto is the single largest producer of almonds in the world! Almond trees are everywhere. And if you check the label on produce, odds are that it says Modesto. Everyone here drives cars nicer than their homes. I thought I saw a lot of tattoos until I came to Modesto. Because my companion Elder Shepard has a hurt leg, we get to drive a car! It's pretty nice not having to bike everywhere, even if it's harder to street contact. We cover two wards! The 8th and 10th. We have a cell phone for each. Unfortunately, we are both new to the area so it has been extremely hard getting to know everyone and trying to get started on the work. Well there's a bit about Modesto! Ultimately, the people are awesome and the missionaries here are super loving. Like, we say 'love ya' on the phone all the time and I have never hugged so many people of the same gender. Kinda weird. Shoot me some questions if you have any!

-Elder Hawkes

Nerf Guns and Meeting Bob

8/17/15

Brothers and Sisters,

A week ago today, I was sitting between a Brother and a Sister on a plane. The Brother apostatized after serving a mission because he felt the members were all too proud and that if he lived a good life he didn't need to go to church. Ironically, he has a strong testimony. The Sister was a recent convert with a strong testimony as well. Anyway, he commended me for serving a mission and for being brave enough to talk to me, but our 2-hour Gospel discussion didn't help too much. Anyways, the tires hit the Tarmac and like any other missionary these thoughts came to my mind, "What on Earth am I doing. I'm in Modesto California and I have no idea what I am doing here." Yep. I had a slight change in my flight plans at the MTC and now I have a six-week layover in Modesto California. My visa had some problems and I am temporarily reassigned. Thank you for all the emails about landing in Taiwan though! I will have to reread them in six weeks! So, it turns out a doctor in the MTC accidentally marked "Tuberculosis Probable" on my visa and now I'm here. Clearly for a purpose. My new mission president gave me a warm welcome and gave my new companion the promise that we would find a non-member who spoke Chinese and that I would be the key. He said that 10 other Taipei missionaries had been reassigned to Modesto but all had come in the day before we were supposed to leave except one--mine.

My companion is Elder Shepard. I don't think I have ever met such an interesting person. He has about 30 Nerf Guns in our apartment, he was going to be in the 2016 Olympics for swimming, he has previously been engaged (he proposed in High School mind you), he tore his hamstring last week and walks with a cane, and his parents own a game store so he used to judge card game tournaments. Oh, and we have already rivaled my record for getting lost. The other day we tried to go to a doctor appointment for his leg and we got one and a half hours lost. Yep. He doesn't have the best sense of direction. Nevertheless, he is awesome. We get along great and he has an amazing testimony.

I have had a ton of amazing experiences in the short week I have been here, but I will only share a few. The first whole day in the mission, we went to downtown Modesto to hand out Book of Mormons: two each. In an hour, my temporary companion and I got two amazing referrals and talked to a ton of people. How easy is the responsibility to share the Gospel that we have been given. 

Two days ago, Elder Shepard and I visited the Jones Family. They are a part member family. We knocked on their door and the father answered. He apologized for the not so warm welcome, as he had been drinking that morning and was still wearing pajamas. He said he had been a member in the 70s and wasn't interested in the Gospel, but that we were welcome to visit his daughters (who have been recently baptized) if we only called about a half hour before to let him know we were coming. We didn't realize it until church the next day, but he never lets people onto his property. Missionaries and Home Teachers alike. One Sister saw us about to knock on his door and almost stopped to warn us not to. The lessons taught to his daughters all had to be at different places. Wow! 

Final story. Today is preparation day, and my companion wanted to stop at Dollar Tree. So we stopped, milled about,  bought a few things, and left. As we were leaving, a man asked me for a few quarters. I told him yes! Of Course! "What's that name tag you are wearing?" "Oh! I'm a missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints!" Long story made short, he was homeless. He felt he wasn't worthy of church and religion. I gave him two dollars and a Book of Mormon. I told him about Moroni burying the plates, Joseph Smith finding and translating the Book of Mormon, talked with him about Temples and the Church. He said he would love to read it. He thanked me. He said that that night he would sleep in the dirt, hungry and alone, but not really alone because I had reminded him that Christ is always with him. He said I had saved his life. He said it meant more than I could imagine that I would stop what I was doing to sit on a curb and talk to a dirty, grimy, hopeless, homeless stranger. It was an absolutely incredible experience. I hope someday to find him again.

The Gospel is simple, the Gospel is fun, and yet it can change lives more than anything else in this world. It is so clear that it makes me want to scream when people refuse to even open their eyes. We don't have to spend millions of dollars or invest millions of hours to change the world. All we have to do is sit down with a homeless man. Give him a few dollars. Let him know someone in this world cares. My thoughts and prayers go out to you in whatever trials and challenges you face. My hope is that we all can further understand and glorify in the simplicity of this magnificent Gospel.

-Elder Hawkes

Modesto Missionaries

Dear Elder Hawkes,
So glad to have you in our mission
Please forward to your family.
We love you.
Sister Palmer

Iain Mckay Letter 1

8/15/15

Dear Elder Hawkes,

You have been in my thoughts and prayers. I am so thrilled to receive your emails via your Mother. I shed some tears over the last one. Ignore what Elder Facer said. The Lord moves in mysterious ways and this is a day of miracles.Too, His time is not our time. It all works out- eventually. 

My family disowned me when I joined the Church. Some of my so called "best friends" said they never wanted to have anything to do with me ever again"  .... and they haven't. Others have come back but it has taken time.Some struggle to be friendly. Others are hostile. It NEVER affects me. I just pray hard and try to "radiate" the Gospel. My parents struggled with my decision as I was their only child. There were some stormy scenes- especially when my Mother got drunk- but they came around. They are both gone now but we have done  their work and know they have accepted. Too personal to put in an email but I'll tell you one day. My Mother's dying words to our Dr were "Tell Iain if her baptises me I'll come back and haunt him". That was pretty scary!!!!!! - but I finally had it done and when I plucked up courage I was sealed to them in the Bountiful Temple.

Years ago when I was a new member of the Church and not married, I was called   by Elder LeGrand Richards of the Twelve to be a counsellor in the first Stake created in Wellington-  the Capital City of New Zealand. Some months later I was in SLC representing our Stake at General Conference. Elder Richards took me to lunch at the old Hotel Utah. I "unloaded" on him about all the challenges we were facing in the newly created Stake. He listened patiently. Finally I caught myself and said "Elder Richards  you must have a LOT more "problems"  in your position than we do in our Stake"   Elder Richards replied- and in so saying taught me one of the MOST powerful lessons of my time and service in the Church "Iain, I am a  very prayerful man . I work VERY hard. But, at night when I go to bed I sleep like a baby.  Then he paused ( to make sure I was getting it into my dumb head)  and said "I let the Lord do the worrying. It is His Church"..............

I have tried to follow that counsel all my years.On occasion I have "worried" but this life and service in the Church is a walk of faith and hope and trust. You hold the Priesthood of God- the authority to act in His name. You have been called  by a Prophet to serve. Work HARD. Sleep well and have faith. It will all work out in His time. I go back to NZ now and see Stakes everywhere. In my lifetime we struggled to have enough leadership to have a full High Council and many times we couldn't even find a Bishop!!

There will be times when you will be tested- sometimes by lazy or difficult companions- Continue to do your VERY best and let Heavenly Father do the worrying.

I hope you are "enjoying" rice instead of Chicken Hamburgers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ha.

Hugs and prayers

Iain